Asking for help is not seen as a super power or strength. We all want to say ‘I don’t need help, I can do it all on my own’! But, I actually believe that asking for help should be a strength, because we all know that there is absolutely no way anyone can do it all on their own. And sometimes you need to ask for help with the seemingly small and easy tasks!
When we first moved to the neighbourhood, there was a nice restaurant that used to make an amazing Margherita pizza! Actually, the process of discovery was more like ‘get tired of fast food pizza’, ‘get tired of making your own pizza’ to ‘Wow, this is better than my own at a good price’! So, off we went and became regulars… until they started skimping on the ingredients while increasing the price. Then the quality went downhill from there on. So after a while we stopped buying from there. Eventually of course, they sadly stopped trading. A new eatery opened up, and this is where my story starts. My husband and I have started a tradition of buying there every Friday. We get there after 7pm and are always surprised at how empty the place is. So me being me (wanting to help even though I have not been asked), I start asking questions around their marketing strategy (I did a digital marketing course you see).
I couldn’t help myself. It was Friday evening, month end and not even their gin bar had anyone! I enquired about the marketing and there is some marketing being done. I talked to different workers to try see if they would want me to assist and I was met with ‘We do get busy, we are okay’`! There was no one sitting down to eat, they had a few takeaway orders and even those they were messing up. I remarked at how busy the place used to be. I lamented the fact that their menu was not child friendly! There was nothing that spoke specifically to children… and they were in a neighbourhood full of families with children! I spoke to a manager who told me about a meeting they had where they were talking about introducing changes. Felt like I was being ‘shut up’! I would not like that place to close, but I really do hope that they are planning something.
I left. But it bothered me, still bothers me that no one wanted to listen to my suggestions. Made me wonder if it was because we are all so afraid of being seen as weak so we try too hard to do it ourselves? To show that we can do it and we don’t need help? And this is not something that is isolated to this restaurant only. It is everywhere.
Today I just want to say, can we remove the stigma from asking for help! Can we all admit that we are human beings, that we are not perfect and that we all occasionally need help, even the super men and and super women! If you don’t ask for help, how else are you going to learn? How else are you going to do better? Yes, you can trudge on and eventually do it, but how long will it take you? At what cost?
Next time you are at a job interview and they ask you about your strengths, tell them that your strength is that you are not afraid to ask for help when you need it! Surely even they are not hiring a super person!
Next time you are struggling mentally, reach out to a good friend and ask for help. If your friend cannot help you, reach out to another friend.
Next time you are not feeling well and you don’t know why, ask for help, go and see a doctor!
Let us normalise asking for help and helping each other without guilting each other and making the other person feel less just for asking for help!
Let us also normalise admitting when you cannot assist and help by getting the right people to assist!
We are all going through a lot and really, we need to help each other get to the next step. Let us normalise asking for help when we need help. No one will laugh, mock or not help! If they do, then move on to the next person
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