Karabo Jhamba

I was at the beach the other day, watching people surf and swim early in the morning and wishing I could do something as cool as that every day instead of going to sit in front of my laptop all day and sometimes half the night. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I love what I do, but, I also have days of ‘surely there has to be more to life than this!’. My career choices were limited when I was young. Not because there were no options, but, the options were not available or even visible. Teaches, nurses, doctors, soldiers, police officers… that was what we saw and that was what we thought was available. So that is what we aspired to do or be when we grew up. Doing nothing was never presented as an option. You had to do something and you had to choose early… 

Anyway, I was thinking about this. And wondering, if I could have a do over, or a second wind of sorts, what would I do. Much as I love money, that was not the first thing that came to mind. No. I started thinking about impact, purpose. Why are we here? What are we supposed to do here? Who knows what one’s purpose is? Is it something we are born knowing? Is it something that comes to us at a certain poiny? Are we supposed to discover it? 

My mind wandered to my Christian upbringing. Of course we know everything as Christians. We don’t bother ourselves with such questions because we know… our purpose is to serve God! Its the how that sometimes becomes blurred and marred by our evils hearts… search your hearts before you come for me… it is not personal and not an attack. Anyway, this then made me realise that no one outside of you can tell you what your purpose is. You need to decide what aligns closely to your heart. 

Back to my ramblings… conservation… that is what I would do in my second life. But, even as I was thinking about this, it hit me that we have made careers out of things that should not be careers. Conservation being the perfect example. Why should a handful of people be responsible for maintaining resources we all use and claim to love? Why is conservation not a part of our everyday lives? Why do we need someone to tell us that we are harming the environment with our actions and activities? Now that I think about it, this is not only unique to conservation. I have found myself getting annoyed when my kid bring back tonnes of homework that calls for my involvement… surely that is the teacher’s job? But, isn’t that part of parenting? Have we also not outsourced parenting? We have people we pay to help us with parenting duties. Now, I am not saying that is a bad thing, no, we need all the help we can get because our lives have changed. We now do not have the support of extended family to help. A lot of things that we can do for ourselves and that we used to do have been outsourced. And this is all so we could focus on the one thing we like or we are really good at. And I am not saying this is a bad thing or should be stopped. We are more productive and efficient this way…

And this is something I have personally struggled with…Outsourcing tasks so I can be more efficient and do fewer things better. Growing up, my parents used to say “We don’t know where you will end up so we need to equip you for anything.” And they equipped the hell out of me… to my detriment at times. You see, there is a lot of things I can do. And because of that, I feel I need to do them. I will get someone in to clean my house because I do not have time to do it myself. And then complain the whole week because they did not clean the dishes the way I would have. They did not sweep or pack things the way I would have. And then I would decide not to outsource it again and then go through horrid weeks of trying to do it all and being overwhelmed by it all. Now, I am not blaming my parents… much… in fact I am thankful that they they taught me and empowered me because I really walk on clouds in a lot of environments… afterall, I know I can do it and do it better than the next person. It’s the knowing I can do it that is empowering for me. But, sometimes, it does make me wonder. Just because I can do it and do it better than the next person, does that mean that I should do it? Does the fact that I can do it mean that it is what I should do? I mean, I have tried to do it all and have failed miserably because I am only one person and everyone has their limits and really, no one can do it all! And one of the biggest things for me has been how it makes me feel. Cleaning a house has never left me feeling happy and content. If anything, it makes me angry because I know it will need to be done again and it takes away time from doing other things. Like reading, playing, learning new things, being outside, basking in the sun. You know, the fun stuff. And it is not just cleaning. A lot of the things I can do feel mundane, like chores, like something I am forced to do and not something that makes my heart leap. 

Would it make it easier if someone chose for me? Would I be happier with a choice my parents made for me? I am not sure. I would tick the boxes for sure, but happy? Short term maybe. Happy that I did not have to choose. But, I would always wonder about those things that I could have chosen for myself. 

So, is that the answer then? Freedom of choice? The frustration, the anger at the dirty dishes, the exhaustion from doing it all—this isn’t a sign that I’m failing at my purpose. It’s the proof that I am engaged in the central act of having one: the act of choice. The mundane tasks are the frame, not the painting. They are the necessary, repetitive bassline over which the melody of a purposeful life is played. We will always have to clean the house. The question is not how to avoid it, but how to build a life where the cleaning is a minor chord in a much richer symphony.

My purpose isn’t found in the job alone, nor is it negated by the chores. My purpose is the sum of my choices—what I outsource to create space, and what I insource because it brings me joy. It’s in the conscious decision to see my job not as a cage, but as the engine that fuels my life. It’s in using the competence my parents gave me not to do everything, but to choose wisely what deserves my hands and my time.

So I will choose to outsource the cleaning, not with resentment, but with gratitude for the freedom it buys. I will choose to sit at my laptop, seeing it not as a chain, but as a tool. And I will fiercely protect the time it grants me—for the fun stuff, for basking in the sun, for being with my kid, for wondering about conservation.

Because purpose isn’t a job title you discover. It’s a life you build, one conscious, frustrating, beautiful choice at a time. And that is a responsibility—and a privilege—no one can ever outsource.