I have wanted to do an MBA for as long as I can remember… don’t worry, I won’t say since I was a child. Since university actually. I have always been very hands on and techie, but with a heart for entrepreneurship. I know, I talk a good game, but, it did not make up for the inadequacy I felt inside. I believed an MBA would be the right degree to sort myself out. Well, for a while I wanted to do a Masters in Leadership or something in entrepreneurship but I could not really find anything that resonated with me or that I qualified to do.
I started a Masters in Strategic Management and I loved it. It was fully online, no lessons no interaction other than online via email and forums and assignments. I loved reading, but struggled with pretty much everything else. I wanted to quit early on, but do you know how difficult it is to quit something when everyone is rooting for you? Well, got all the way until the research module and I just tapped out. Converted the Masters to a diploma. And yes, I had a number of very disappointed supporters telling me that I should have just finished, but, I couldn’t have because my heart was not really in it and I was struggling to apply anything of what I had learnt in my role at the time. I wanted to take a break so I could do more practical courses, learn things that I could use here and then.
But, I digress. Back to my MBA journey. I did not think I was ready for the MBA and I so I kept doing course after course. After doing a number of courses, I decided to just take a leap and do it. It had been on my bucket list for so long and I had talked about it for so long but I had not even applied. So I did. First University I applied to had an MBA in entrepreneurship which I thought was really cool and along the lines of what I wanted to do. But dealing with the admin was painful. I applied and did not hear from the university for over 6 months. By then, I thought for sure they had not accepted me. When they did get back to me (after I followed up), it was to tell me that I needed to get clearance from another body (My degree and post grad diploma are not from a South African University). And it made sense right? But, what annoyed me, was that it took me calling, after 6 months to be told that. And I did not have a guarantee that I would get the clearance that I needed before the course started. If the university was like this when I started, how would it be like when I was finally there? I decided not to bother with them and applied to another university.
I then applied to Stellenbosch Business School, with so little confidence in myself that I thought for sure I would not make it. One of my very good friends had done her MBA with SBS and had enjoyed it and I remembered the stories as if she told them yesterday. She had a whale of a time and grew so much and learnt so much. I was kicking myself for not applying earlier. Of course I could not afford it, heck, I struggled with even the assessment and registration fees but isn’t that what faith is for? I did my best with the essay and I thought I had bombed out on the assessments. The assessments were not that hard, but, I was doing them while working on something else and I kept forgetting that I was writing the assessment. This is something that they actually tell you not to do. You are advised to find time when you can focus and be clear headed, but I struggled with finding time until it was almost too late. Feels like I am full of excuses doesn’t it? I got in! Elated? Definately! Scared? Yep! Why? I did not have an excuse anymore. I had all these things that I had been holding off doing because I told myself that I needed an MBA and I thought it was so far off that I would never get to doing it.
I was just starting, but sometimes that is just what we need. To start! Or to move. I had been on the fence for so long about doing an MBA. I realised that the time would never be there or be convenient and the money would never be there or enough because as soon as it comes in, we spend it! Whats a little discomfort for a couple of years right? And I know, I speak from a point of privilege, but honestly, sometimes we need to be uncomfortable so we can do life! So yes, to do or not to do became a to do!