Karabo Jhamba

My daughter said that to me and I felt so proud. I will admit though that I was slightly saddened by my then 4 year old’s observation. Until I remembered that I also don’t like everyone. (Don’t judge, you also don’t like everyone)

And that’s fine.

They also don’t have to like you. And you don’t have to like everyone too. That is why we are not overly friendly with everyone or we are just plain not friends with everyone.

The problem is that sometimes we go through life wanting to be liked and accepted by everyone. And this causes us to squeeze into boxes and moulds us into shapes and people we were never meant to be. Causing a lot of unhappiness.

We are all different and we like different things and that is okay. Our Diversity is what makes the world so vibrant and alive.

The sooner we accept that the better for everyone because then we will stop feeling bad when we get shunned or when we get negative feedback. Sometimes it is things that we need to change and those we do change.

But sometimes people complain or obsess about things that one cannot change. Like someone’s looks, someone’s tribe, someone’s colour, someone’s physical build…too tall…too short, how someone speaks a certain language. I believe that we are supposed to build each other up and I try very hard to be honest and give useful feedback. If there is nothing someone can do about something, why make it an impediment? Why make my colour an issue when it is how God made me? Why not accept the differences, grow up and move on?

Things that people can change, give useful feedback. Example being at restaurants. The restaurant is not doing me a favor, I am also not doing them a favor by being there. It is a service that I am paying for, for that I expect everything to be above board. Good food, good waiter, good ambiance. If it is not good, I will bring it up so that there can be improvements made and next time all will go smoothly. But in giving that feedback, I also need to take into account that there are people working at the restaurant, not robots. People get tired, people have bad days, people have families, people have problems.

Same thing at the workplace. We may not like each other, but we are all grown up. We have to respect each other and treat each other like human beings. The golden rule. Would you want to be treated the same way that you are treating someone else? Would you like your loved one to be treated the way you are treating someone? We all have feelings, they get hurt.

My daughter’s ‘Not everyone likes you’ comment saddened me because I felt at that age, we should be treating our kids equality, fairness, kindness. At that age, I feel it is too young for kids to already be forming ‘Like’ and ‘Dislike’ groups. Unfortunately our kids are a reflection of us, their parents and caregivers.

Not everyone like you, yes, and you also do not like everyone, but at the end of the day, we all need love, respect, kindness. Not only should we teach our kids that, sometimes we need to learn that as well.